The Democrat Convention opens tomorrow, July 25th, in Philadelphia. Below is the Democrat’s tenative schedule:
11:15 AM â€“ Free Lunch, “Medical” Marijuana and Bus Ride to the Convention. Forms To Be Passed Out for Food Stamp Enrollment.
Opening Flag Burning Ceremony â€“ Sponsored by CNN.
4:15 PM â€“ Address on “Being the Real You” â€“ By (White) Former Head of the Seattle NAACP, Rachel Dolezal, and “Caitlyn” Jenner.
4:30 PM â€“ “How to Bank $200 Million While a Public Servant, and Yet Claiming to be Broke” â€“ Hillary Clinton.
4:45 PM â€“ “How to Have a Successful Career Without Ever Having a Job, and Still Avoid Paying Taxes!” â€“ Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson (free visit to the White House for one lucky entrant).
5:00 PMâ€“ Medals of Freedom Presented to Army Deserter Bowe Bergdahl and a Sample of Baltimore Looters aka Alternative Shoppers.
5:15 PM â€“ General Vote on Praising Baltimore Rioters, and on Using the Term “Alternative Shoppers” Instead of “Looters.”
5:30 PM â€“ Invitation-Only Autograph Session â€“ Souvenir Photographs of Hillary and Chelsea Dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia.
5:45 PM â€“ Tribute to All of the 57 States â€“ Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi.
8:30 PM â€“ The White House “Semantics Committee” Meeting Followed by General Vote on Now Using the Term “Muslim Terrorism” Instead of the Usual “Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance.”
9:00 PM â€“ “Liberal Bias in Media â€“ How We Can Make It Work For You” Tutorial â€“ Sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times.
9:15 PM â€“ Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters Still Incarcerated at GITMO â€“ Michael Moore.
9:45 PM â€“ Personal Finance Seminar: “Businesses Don’t Create Jobs” â€“ Hillary Clinton.
10:00 PM â€“ Group Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible Readers.
10:30 PM â€“ Ceremonial “We Surrender” Waving of the White Flag to Afghanistan, Russia and ISIS.
11:00 PM â€“ Short Film: “Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server While Serving in a Cabinet Post, and How to Pretend It’s No Big Deal,” hosted by Hillary Clinton.
11:30 PM â€“ “How to Offend Christians While Implementing Sharia Law in America” â€“ “Sneaky Joe” Biden.
12:00 AM â€“ Official Nomination of Hillary by Bill Maher and Chris Matthews.