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Funny Money Part 1 – Ed Gillespie

written by Guest Contributor Dylan Kelo February 1, 2017

“Eddie Money” Gillespie is coming out swingin’ this year with a whopping $1.9 million in the bank. He’s locked and loaded, ready to churn out those annoying attack ads that challenge our faith in the basic tenets of humanity! I digress, his campaign stayed pretty much in positive territory – which worked out pretty well for him as he took home that big, shiny second place trophy.

Given the average Virginian had never heard of Ed in 2014. That and he was up against “Mark-a-Millions” Warner. Forget the fact that Warner had twice the funding to buy him that 0.7 point margin of victory. How on earth do you compete against a campaign promise to deport Justin Beiber?

This year Ed’s campaign coffers are like a who’s who of Republican royalty; or slimy corroded swamp trash, depending how you take your coffee. George ‘W’, Carly Fiorina, Linda McMahon and every developer’s favorite law firm, McGuire Woods headline his tributes. While these generous ‘please make me relevant again’ donations really show star power, there is one family whose name is burning holes through the ear canals of Senate Democrats as we speak.

The DeVos family, of newest progressive pariah Betsy DeVos fame, has already given  Ed’s campaign $120,000, which is almost as many questions as Betsy’s been asked by Elizabeth Warren. The biggest dagger to Virginia State Democrats prospects of winning has been that Virginia State Democrats are on the ticket. Having off-year elections means their lord-and-savior Barrack O’ or Bill Clinton, esquire isn’t there to save the milque-toast garden variety center-left candidate from their votership not giving a damn. This time they may be able to use that nomination dumpster fire to drum up support for a candidate that is already losing in the polls despite being the incumbent.

However, Patriarch Richard DeVos is fixing to change Ed’s losing streak. So much so that he had Shaq hand deliver his $40,000 in an Amway gift basket! Jokes aside, the Orlando Magic co-owner did manage to earn a hit piece in Rolling Stone, so I like him already.

Ed is using his battle tested senatorial run infrastructure to outpace his competitors, and there is nothing unusual or dastardly about the donor money he is getting. Dastardly, however, is a relative term in politics. If he can downplay not just his donor class but his overall “Establishment Ed” caricature, he is the favorite.

Funny Money Part 1 – Ed Gillespie was last modified: February 1st, 2017 by Guest Contributor Dylan Kelo
Betsy DeVosCarly FiorinaEd Gillespie's moneyJustin BeiberMark WarnerMcGuire WoodsRichard DeVos
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Guest Contributor Dylan Kelo

Dylan Kelo Transportation Planner Florida International University - Masters in Urban Systems Radford University - Journalism

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