A new bill gaining steam in the U.S. Senate will allow taxpayers to deduct up to 100% of their combined family income as charitable giving based on how many hashtag symbols they propagated on social media for any given year. This bill is expected to pass the Senate Budget and Appropriations Committees, at which point it will be sent to the House where it is expected to pass unanimously.
“I can’t imagine a just society that doesn’t reward good #hashtagging, our children and the whales deserve so much better,” says Senator Elizabeth Sanders, co-sponsor of the legislation. “If we can’t express our concerns online, even when we can’t physically do anything about a problem, how will we ever teach our kids to tie their shoes?”
Activist groups have previously brought this bill to their congressional representation before, only to be thwarted by those who claimed a #hashtag symbol is just an abdication of actual charitable contribution to society.
“For too long our incessant blogging and virtue signaling has gone unappreciated,” says local SJW precinct captain Karl Weatherstone. “Finally it will be recognized for the good it can create by pressuring people to take to their laptops and pretend they care about something they know nothing about.’’
The formal language in the bill will create a tiered system for avid hashtaggers who make under $120k per year. Every 100 hashtags tweeted, posted or instagramed per calendar year will be converted into direct dollar amounts of charitable donations. For every 1000 or more hashtags, taxpayers can deduct $1,000 plus $1,000 from their assessable property tax to reduce that cost as well.
As Americans become more enveloped in the warm enclosures of their phones and online identities, experts say more online bellowing of awareness on social media and less actual intervention in crises could transform our world for the better. Further updates to this report will be provided as the House of Representatives votes on a companion bill allowing federal employees to convert their IRA accounts to Rainbow Farts and Puppydog Tails (RFPT +1.6), which is currently outperforming BitCoin on the NYSE.
