The Amazing Life of Franco dela Rellafella

After the passage of years, and the consumption of many sumptuous meals at Shori Banazai, Ambassador Sakitomi was ushered into the confidences of its owner, Franco dela Rellafella.  The intriguing story behind the man and his world-class restaurant was revealed, – and summarized with great attention to detail by the Ambassador:

Franco was born in Palermo Italy.  At the age of 14, he was recruited to be a drummer in the Italian Army.  As the story goes, his incompetence as a drummer caused both an advance and retreat to occur at the same time.  The loss of life that resulted from Italian shooting Italian was so significant that he was court-martialed and nearly hung.  However, because of his talent as a cook, he escaped with but a sentence to prepare a gourmet meal for General Alfredo Benito Capuletta de Easchiccio, the commander in chief of the Palermo militia.

As Franco tells it: “My goose-a was cooked, one-a way or da other.  And nobody had ever heard of de sushi.  America was my only chance-a.  As luck would have it, I signed onto the Titanic.  As luck would have it a second time, I survived.”

Upon reaching America’s shores, Franco put his culinary skills to work on the first ever sushi pizza.  It took many years to perfect this meal.  “One must-a imagine that baking a pizza and-a mixing it with the sushi.  Not a pretty sight but hard-a work paid-a off.”

The sushi pizza was a phenomenal hit and Franco claimed it was “the best-a pizza in-a da world”.  A claim that was immediately challenged by pizza makers in Georgetown, Chicago and Hallelujah Junction ——- .  Franco was unaffected by the abuse of his claim and the contrived competition.  Shori Banazai, was a success.

You might wonder how it got its name, particularly the word “Banazai”.  Well, as you can see, Franco had quite a strong Italian accent.  When he asked for the sign to be made he said, “Shori Ban-a-zai” rather than the more appropriate and customary Japanese “Banzai”.  The sign artisans were confused, but taking Franco at his word, crafted a beautiful and now nationally historic sign.

The misspelling was a one of those unexpected strokes of genius.  Hordes of English teachers from around the world raved about the food and pointed out the spelling error – hoping to see a correction upon their return.  The citizens of Japan and much of Asia thought it was a good example of American cloddishness – and also a reminder that World War II should never have ended that way.  

Of course, there were numerous tourists who didn’t know the difference and could care less.  The pizza, as one Texan said, “Was damn good and he’d shoot anyone who disagreed”.  Since DC has very strict laws about guns or any threats of violence, he was arrested, tried, and convicted.  He received the harshest of sentences, – to listen to Congress when it was in session.