The Ludicrouz Report

This first edition of the about to be acclaimed Ludicrouz Report is intended to poke fun at or even, gasp, ridicule the insanity associated with national events.  Below are some Ludicri in no special order:

Ludicri #1:  The Longshoreman’s strike is now over or temporarily suspended until after the presidential election.  Nevertheless, panic buying of such things as toilet paper have begun.  Costco, Walmart, and your local grocery many be cleaned out (pun intended) of this item.  The Biden-Harris administration and the mainstream media have advised that there is no reason to panic because toilet paper is made in country.  Nobody is buying that.  (This journalist refuses to go back to the days of those tiny rolls of Japanese toilet paper.  No way.  Not today.  Not ever.)

Ludicri #2:  The Cajun Navy, those good Americans who have volunteered their time and their boats to assist in emergencies, has been joined by a Cajun Air Force, Cajun Drone Force, and even a Cajun mule force to assist in the rescue of Hurricane Helene Survivors.  FEMA, otherwise know as the Federal Emergency Management Agency, has been critical of these folks,  and even threatened arrests, because they lack government coordination.  Unfortunately, FEMA ihas come to the rescue a few days late and a bunch of dollars short so nobody is really paying much attention to them.  (It turns out that the Biden-Harris administration has previously siphoned off some $640 million to pay for illegal alien assistance.)

Ludicri #3:  Someone one or group has been slashing the tires of semi-trailer trucks in Tennessee travel centers off Highway 138 near Denmark – I didn’t know that Denmark was in Tennessee but the Danes are good people.  Apparently some 70  trucks have been reported as having their tires punctured.  So far, nobody has been arrested for the puncturing although a group of looters from what appears to be South of the Border, down Mexico Way, have been arrested.  Speculation still runs rampant that the culprits might be climate activists, pro-Hamas protestors, professional criminals, or antifa trying to stick it to those nasty Republicans.

Ludicri #4: Jumpin’ Jack Smith, with the approval of District of Columbia Judge Chutkan, has released some of the filings from Donald Trump’s supposed J6 criminal activity.  The names of Smith’s witnesses have been redacted so nobody has a clue who is who but media frenzy seems focused on number 5.  Speculation has it that number 5 is the robot from the comedy movie Short Circuit.  Trump, of course,  is under all kinds of gag orders and hasn’t responded as of this reporting.  (It is rumored that Trump liked Short Circuit and may bring the big guy #5 to his upcoming Butler, Pennsylvania rally.)

Ludicri #5:  A 68 year old grandmother and gold star mother from Mesa, Arizona has been sentenced to 9 years in prison for the horrific crime of preserving the evidence of the 2020 presidential election fraud.  The judge in the case noted that citizens can’t take it in their own hands to expose government corruption as that would violate the law.  This bizarre decision goes along with the denial of due process for many of those arrested and jailed for their participation in the j6 riots at the Capitol.  

Ludicri #6:  Who is leading the country is the question on everyone’s mind.  Trump is down in Georgia providing tens of millions of dollars-worth of supplies, working with Elon Musk to establish Starlink communication for those stranded by Hurricane Helene, and creating a charitable process for those willing to help the survivors.  Nobody seems to know what Joe Biden’s contribution to the disaster is but he did do a flyover to look.  Kamala Harris has been fundraising for her campaign.  One bit of good news from the Biden-Harris administration is that Hurricane Helene survivors wil each get $750 to help them recover.  (Word has it that hurricane survivors are being ferried to Mexico so that they can cross America’s Southern Border and apply for thousands of dollars in aid as illegal aliens.  This report, while unconfirmed, seems to make sense.)

For those interested, the Ludicrouz Report will be published irregularly, maybe annually or whenever there is enough Ludricri events available.  For the time being, over and out.